»PARP!» Pssst! Do you know the story about Queen Elizabeth I (1533-1603) and the — er — farting courtier? One day, when bowing low to Her Majesty, the Earl of Oxford couldn't help but break wind. The poor man felt SO embarrassed, that he left the court — and some say the country — for SEVEN years. Upon his return, after such a long absence, the first thing Good Queen Bess said on seeing him was, «Lord, I had forgot the fart!»