Why is a left foot either trusty or educated, but a right foot is neither? Why is a bad back pass almost invariably suicidal? Why can you score from a corner with a free header, but never with a free shot? Why are hooligans always a tiny minority even when there seem to be hundreds of them throwing seats across Kenilworth Road? Discover how stock phrases — «schoolboy howler», «sweeper system» — are only part of the story in the artfully twisted language of football. Let Leigh and Woodhouse take you on a journey, from the «top-flight» vocabulary of commentators to the more «speculative efforts» of footballers, from the «Champions League circus» to a «Wednesday night in Rochdale». And prepare to be very entertained.